Aug 26, 2009

Oh, Oh, Oh Noah, Didn't It ....

Yes it's, you guessed, raining! Again! So it'll have to be brollies, wellies and raincoats to the strains of, "Singing in the rain. What at glorious feeling, I'm soaked to the skin. ...." (Whilst tap dancing around a street light and splashing about in the garbage clogged drains.)

Oh! The pleasure of a vivid imagination ....

Aug 25, 2009

Probability or Just Plain Spooky

Out on the crags on Sunday; blustery but sunny. A liitle part of Stanage was all activity. A film crew had set up, with the rangers help, ready film an advertisement for some supermarket. The actor involved was Richard Hammond with a bevy of climbers and a stand-in to enable the "shots". I took the opportunity to "shoot" some of the action. Give the number of people involved it also provided ample opportunity to "chat".

Everything seem to be going well until the location manager asked me to stop filmimg and go away. Give that the location was on Public land (owened by the Park who, as you'll appreciate, are themselves owned by and managed for the "public" - a point they, the Park Authorities sometime forget. I, using my well known charm, informed the fellow that he had no authority and suggested we talk the situation over with the Park odfficers who were inattendance. I think it came as a bit of a shock when he realised that the officers were friends of mine. Things were "sorted", as the Brits say. The problem was that the Artistic Director was worried that I was a reporter from the local rag or TV. She, Margaret, and I chatted about steeling other "artist" ideas and both agreed that we had both been unnecessarily concerned. All's well that ends well ...

Richard Hammond spent most of the day waiting to "act" - very boring. He and I had an interesting chat. I liked the man; to me he seems a genuine, unassuming fellow, both interesting to talk to and in no way a posturing TV personality. I liked him even more when I he told me that he flew helos!

There I was standing looking out over the valley when I heard, "Malcolm is that relly you?" My God it was Ken Robinson! Last time I saw him was several years ago in Australia. No only that we worked for the same Circus Department and I had retired 12 years ago. He left after a quick natter and I turn to talk to the still photographer of the crew.

It was then that I heard the stunt double say he was a caver. "Do you know Tony Waltham?", I asked.

"Yes. He's a goodmate of mine. Why?"

I explained that Tony had been one of my tutors at uni and I that had been trying to contact him for old-times-sake. We exchanged emails.

I resumed looking out over the valley; Hammond was laying on a rock snoozing more or less at my feet. I noticed two people sitting on rocks next to the sleeping talent; they were munching on sandwiches oblivious to their surroundings. It was then I realised who they were. CC and Frank! They have a home in Perth and CC is a Prof. at the university in Sheffield; we met some years ago, when we exchanged emails, as you do, but, as often the case, never got together - until now. A third coincidence seems a bit spooky to me.

The filming finished and having missed the bus back to Sheffield, I walked down to my friends cottage. What a day!

Aug 19, 2009

Are Sheep Really Closet Goths?

Into the Tardis; which looks remarkable like a 272 bus to me, and we're transported to another astral dimension. The Hill Farm. Dogs literally straining on their leads and shepherds crook at the slope, we strode forth across the fells (that's moors to Yorkshire Folk) in search of this years 7 month old lambs. The flock of about 100 little fluffy devils was munching it's way on verdant grass oblivious of the delight in store; a visit to the ear piercing studio.

Let me explain. The lambs have be separated from their mum - arr, poor things - a few days ago. The boys having been promoted to the ranks of castrati - ouch! - some time earlier. Now it was time to separate the sexes. Not that they would start breeding like rabbits, what with them being sheep and some of them being foresaid castrati - my knees are weak even thinking about it. No, it's the difference between a career in the Chop and Roast Leg business and a lifetime of pleasure as a mummy of Randy The Ram's offspring. Incidently, the maternal career also ends in at bottom end of the Chop and Roat Leg department.


You can imagine that it's a bit tedious for a farmer to have to up-end individuals to see who's who, which is what and what's missing. The solution is simple; ear tag. Two blue for a girl and one green for a boy.

The dogs did a wonderful job gathering the flock and we drove the woolies across the field into the farm yard. Into the pens and let the ear peirceing begin!


The boys and girls ended up both separated into different fields and proudly boasting of their new decorations; "Barr, I'm a New Age Goth. Yeh, their plastic and all the rage at the slaughter house."






We enlighten beings gathered ourselves back to the cottage. Kettle on. Tea served. Toasting a job well done. "By gum, the weather were grand and them dogs got into them woolies like they were born to it. Mecks yer glad to be alive and no mistake!" What's fo dinner? Why, roast lamb with mint sauce. What else?

Aug 17, 2009

Lord N Lady Dusting

We were 272'd to the Peaks again and met up with our friends; our sacks filled with a swag of goodies for a lunch to be had on the terraced roof of North Lees Hall no less. Plans were twarted by the weather; rain in torrents. Donning our dust coats and aprons we set about "doing" for the in-comming guests. Dusting here, polishing there - have you every brushed a spiral staircase? No? Well it's an experience well worth the effort - not! All dusted and done we set up court in one of the kitchens for the repast. Excellent!

The hall is "famous" for Bronte associations and thus several films. To me it's a great example of "tatty kitsch"; a place for would be's to holiday and cheap at up to 1000 GB clams a week. Snot on the bankcard pseuo-history. And ... a great example of a hole-in-the-cheque-book project. You can hire one of two appartments for a holiday from the Vivat Trust.

The location is stunning and probably my favourite area in the UK; should be because I've been coming here for over 40 years.

Lunch over, we walked to our friends cottage and spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in a sunlit garden, chatting, drinking Rosie and playing with the three sheepdogs. "E, it were reet gradely and no mistake Mr Heathcliff!"

Aug 12, 2009

City of Lights and All That

After a week of high temperatures in Paris we are back in rainy Sheffield. We were shell, should that be travel, shocked after a seamless journey from Bastille to our flat; metro, flight (Bmibaby) and two buses. Leaving at 5.30 am and sitting down to a cupper at 1 pm; all a bit disorienting!

How was Paris? Hot, busy and expensive! Worst of all I managed to cop a heavy head cold. No not Swine Fue, although the Brits seem to be all a-panic about it and are dishing out Tammi Flu like lollies.

We had stayed at the hotel in Bastille before - the Baudelaire Bastille. This time the room was on the four floor and there is no lift; who needs to go to the gym? Clean, inexpensive and well located - just what we like. Feeding ourselves from the local Monoprix supermarket keeps the body parts moving as well as defeating the rip-off merchants in the resturants. We had the delight of the most expensive cups of tea with lemon - 12 euros - at some snotty place somewhere along our wanderings.

All very entertaining; lots seen and enjoyed.

A day trip to Riems by train was excellent. The cathedral is magnificant.

When I've collected my wits I'll tell you more ...